User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/John Doe vs Annie Wilkes- Epic Rat Battles of Horror Season 2
Blah blah blah Epic Rat Battles of Horror. Welcome back. Yet again. Todays suggestion comes from BackToTheFuturama86 totally not because I told him what the battle was in advance and asked him to comment a suggestion for it. Wait, what? Anyways, for our Se7enth film, we have John Doe, the psycho torturer obsessed with the Seven Deadly Sins, vs Annie Wilkes, the psycho torturer obsessed with an author and his writings, to see who's the better easily-obsessive torturer. Annie Wilkes is from Stephen King's "Misery", so... uh... that means something I guess? Either way, thanks to J1Coupe as always for the title cards (As always <3) and special thanks to Firebrand795 for allowing me to post this on the same day as his awesome season finale (WHICH YOU SHOULD GO READ RIGHT NOW PLS) That aside, let's get the battle started Cast John Doe- EpicLLOYD Annie Wilkes- Kimmy Gatewood Frank (Cameo)- NicePeter Instrumental- Voices of Revenge Introduction Announcer: (0:11) EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR! VS! BEGIN! The Battle John Doe: (0:22) Let me make myself clear, Annie, this raps a real bone crusher, There isn’t going to be a happy ending for Norman Bates grandmother! This a battle of sadists, my dear, and John runs this game, Got dozens of disorders, it’s more comfortable for me to call you insane, I’m bringing the pain to end this stain, it’s inhumane what you did to Frank, But don’t step up to Dr. Doe, or he’ll leave this crude shrew slain, You won’t be so jittery when I steal your victory, you’ll be history! Light’s out, Wilkes, I bring God's will to put you out of your Misery Annie Wilkes: (0:43) Time to take up paper and pen, rap against this freak with no friends, Because you ain’t no Big Jim- And THIS John Dies At The End! Take no crap from Lex Luthor- Rap so good, makes me feel younger, Don’t judge me with your numbers, you’re an ordinary bible thumper! You’re no saint- All sinner, who should be punished with these lines, Like I always say, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime, But I pack the strength of a sledgehammer in more than seven of these rhymes, And like your death back in nineteen ninety five, they blow minds! John Doe: (1:06) *Deep breath It seems you’re looking for WRATH, but I won’t cut you off, Your lyrics are lazy, since they are the product of a sluggish SLOTH You may LUST for a win, but I’m gonna be giving you a hard time, When you commit GLUTTONY, since I’m making you eat my rhymes! You are GREED-y of my skill and your greedy for my plans, Anne, Your misplaced sense of PRIDE can call yourself my biggest fan, Because you WISH you were me! And we call that JEALOUSY! Your REAL sin is ENVY ‘cause you wish you could spit as well as me Annie Wilkes: (1:27) You’d better pray to the God you doubt because I’ll make you need a savior! Think your countless failed marriages constitutes for your behavior? You’re a balding shell of a man who went insane ‘cause his life sucked! Well I’ll serve you some reality- eat it 'til you choke you sick, twisted fuck! John Doe: (1:38) I am supposed to trust a God is watching when rhymes like those exist?! My wife cheat me! My mother beat me! Damn right, I’m pissed! Think your OSCAR makes you special?! I outsmarted those bastard police! GO AHEAD AND KILL ME!! It will only complete my masterpiece… Annie Wilkes: (1:49) Don’t talk back to me like that! Your rudeness and distaste is a disgrace, But by the looks of it, somebody already mutilated YOUR face! I’m the master- Not this bastard! You’re best torture is when you’re a rapper, And I’ll trample you faster than the Tractor you’re named after! Better wipe away that awful snear- Cause tonight, I’m the one they fear, They call me the ol’ Dragon Lady and tonight, I’m feasting on deer, Quit forcing that wraith and innocent mate into rape and let me destroy your faith, Yes, there are seven sins in the bible, but I AM the EIGHTH! Announcer: (2:11) WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC! (EPIC!) EPIC! (EPIC!) EPIC! (EPIC!) EPIC RAT BATTLES OF HORROR! Outro Who won? Annie Wilkes John Doe Category:Blog posts